How To Effectively Control Your Anger Around Your Kids
This post was created in collaboration with BetterHelp.
It’s so easy to beat ourselves up when we aren’t perfect parents. We spend so much time coming up with ways to keep our kids busy, active and healthy—but let’s face it, we all get angry sometimes. Losing control of our emotions around our kids can make us feel ashamed of ourselves and guilty. However, by learning more about anger and what’s causing it,we can become better at controlling our anger around our children. Let’s get started:
1. Give Yourself Grace
Anger is often perceived as negative– but in reality, anger can be a useful emotion, when expressed appropriately. After all, without anger, many people wouldn’t rally around causes they are passionate about, find the motivation to make changes in their lives or their community, or find the motivation to solve problems. Instead of labeling your emotions as negative or positive, take the time to understand why you are feeling the way you are. Then, focus on finding strategies to use your emotions, like anger, in positive ways.
2. Understand What’s Causing You To Lose Control
Struggling to contain your anger as your kid throws their food on the floor, rolls their eyes at you, or refuses to listen? Ask yourself if you would feel this same amount of anger if you were feeling emotionally stable. Maybe on your best day, you would take a few deep breaths, step away from the situation, and talk to your child about their behavior when you both had time to cool down.
But today, you are late for work, didn’t have time to take a shower, and stressed about what to cook for dinner. Resources on BetterHelp, like this article, can help you understand why you are getting so angry. From there, you can then work on controlling that anger and using it for good!
3. Find Ways To Control The Outbursts
In order to use anger for good, it’s critical to learn to control angry outbursts. Resources on BetterHelp can also help you manage your anger so you have time to understand your anger before you act on it. When you begin to feel angry, it’s important to acknowledge those feelings, walk away from the situation that is causing you anger, and focus on self-care. The best self-care strategies to control anger are different for everyone but they may include activities like exercising, deep breathing, writing, or listening to relaxing music.
4. Use Your Anger For Good
Once you’re able to actively manage your anger in the moment— it’s time to dig deeper into the issue and use your anger productively. For example, you can channel your anger into running your fastest ever mile or funnel that anger into organizing a protest for better day care options for working mothers in your town. Rather than letting your anger control you, you can control your anger and create lasting change! What meaningful changes can you make by effectively managing your anger?
