How to Know It’s Time for a Divorce
Everyone gets married hoping it will last forever; for this reason, many couples remain in marriages long after the marriages should have been over. There is no one sign that shows you your marriage is over. However, there is a combination of signs and conditions that, once present in a marriage, could indicate that the couple may be better off divorced.
Some marriages have ended quickly after just a couple of days or weeks, or even hours. Others have been known to enjoy some initial happy years or several happy years before the light went out of the marriage. Even experts agree that it’s difficult to predict which marriages will last forever and which ones won’t. “After several years of working as a divorce lawyer, I have come to realize that there’s no single determinant of marital quality.’ Says Laura Gillis, a divorce lawyer in Phoenix.
Here are a couple of ways to know it’s time for a divorce.
There’s no Intimacy in Your Marriage
In marriage, everyone wants to feel close to their partner. When this closeness disappears, it could be a sign that the marriage is in trouble. If one or both partners have lost the fondness they once had for the other person and are no longer interested in spending quality time together, it may be time to seek counseling to help keep the marriage alive. Exploring options like online marriage counseling can be a convenient and effective way to address these issues, providing flexibility and privacy for both partners in their journey to reconnect. If, after counseling, things remain as bad as they were, it could be a sign that one or both parties have checked out of the marriage, and things may never be good again.
Sex is also a huge part of intimacy; if the couple finds themselves going months or even years without sexual contact, it’s a sign that one or both partners have become sexually disinterested in their spouse and are either already getting this form of intimacy elsewhere or are eager to get it elsewhere.
Lack of Communication
Nothing feels worse than being in a relationship where it seems your partner enjoys talking to other people more than they enjoy talking to you. When you start to feel like you cannot express your feelings and opinions and be listened to, then you should know the marriage is headed for trouble.
Lack of communication can lead to loneliness which only leads to a decay in the couple’s bond. Communication is a key factor in bond strengthening in marriage. You can’t continue being in a marriage where communication is nonexistent, regardless of whether it used to be the case or not. As long as the other party is not willing to change and work together to improve, you may want to try couples therapy. In cases where therapy does nothing to restore healthy communication, then it may be time to file those papers.
Many marriages drag on for years in utter silence. Some couples are afraid to call it quits as they try to avoid the effects of divorce on children. However, these situations are hardly ever worth the time spent in them. Some couples, while not actively quarreling, would rather wear earplugs than listen to the footsteps, snoring, or breathing of their partner. Even the mere presence of their spouses becomes irritating. Most times, these partners would keep late nights or go on extended business trips just to be away from home. This is a sign that it’s time for both parties to go their separate ways and be free from this unbearable circumstance.
Physical and Emotional Abuse
No one needs to endure a marriage where there is constant arguing, name-calling, and physical fighting. Harsh words could be harmful to everyone involved. Worse is physical abuse, which has many times led to death; every year, several women are reported killed in domestic violence-related crimes. Men are not left out. The negative effects of abuse run deep and could be disastrous. Victims of spousal abuse, whether physical or emotional, find it hard to recover from these horrible experiences.
Constant Violation of Trust
A marriage with no trust is not a healthy one. Trust could be violated in many forms. It could be sexual when one’s spouse has cheated. It could be financial when a partner is reckless in spending the family’s finances without consent or approval from the other partner. It could also be due to a partner’s incessant lying, withholding information, or engaging in shady deals. Trust is vital and should be mutual. In the absence of trust, it is important to consider leaving the marriage.